Yesterday’s fabulous meal choices (sarcasm):
- corn flakes
- two empanadas
- left over olive garden
- marble slab ice cream
- macaroni and cheese

Even though I said that this is a dumb excuse, I am letting myself have that day. Oh! Because before yesterday my heart hadn’t been COMPLETELY ripped out yet. So now that it has I can eat whatever I want for a little bit.

This morning, though, was a bit better.
I woke up feeling horrible after a restless night, but had to put on a happy face for my nephew that I’m babysitting and my mom who had just gotten home.
I got him ready for school then sat down to eat cereal with him (Special K this time).

Went back to bed, waking up now, and I think I’m going to go for a run.
I’m in between feeling numb and wanting to cry my eyes out, but I just can’t seem to get angry. So I need to put my energy somewhere else.

Ill let you know just how pathetic I am today later on.

Kisses,
Tori.

then got caught up in looking at my “recent” posts.

When did this turn into a place for me to complain about my body and my life? 

Goodness gracious.

..from 5 months ago.

I have never been as happy with my body in my entire life as I am in this very moment.

woah. where did that girl go?

i went through some really rough stuff right after that that sent me on this pretty bad downward spiral health-wise and since then i keep talking about fixing it - but alas, have done nothing.

this past weekend i made horrible food choices. but excused myself from it due to some intense emotional turmoil. 

that is not the way to go. i definitely know better.

i kind of started heading back to a dark place that i do not like - so now i truly wish to turn everything around.

i am not ready to fix anything emotionally, but i think some physical distraction would do me some good. 

maybe focusing on my weight will successfully keep me from facing this mess i am desperately trying to avoid and in turn maybe help it a bit.

i’m just tired and rambling.

tomorrow is a new day.

tomorrow i shall eat breakfast for the first time in a while.

go me.

Oh hi, super nice person!

:)

Weeeell I haven’t weighed myself in quite some time due to being pretty inactive and just terrified of the scale… and have completely neglected this blog :/ 

I feel so terrible about it! (it actually crosses my mind frequently) but the thing is - I recently got into Pharmacy school yay!  and I need to just finish up this semester with decent grades in order to hang on to my spot. 

I have been active on my personal blog because it takes little to no effort to reblog things and write 2 sentence text posts about my daily life - but I always miss so many days on this one because I feel like every post needs to be really meaty and well thought out (i.e. this answer…)

BUT I have been biking once a week and trying not to eat terribly, yet nothing really significant. 

AND I fully intend to come back to this on full blast the day summer starts!

<3 tori